I’ve said before that becoming a mum is to step onto a roller coaster of emotions and experiences. I was thinking the other day that it feels a bit like Rita at Alton Towers. You queue for hours and hours and you eventually get so uncomfortable and fed up that you’re just desperate to get into the seat and get on with it. And then you finally get there and have the bar drawn over your lap and before you know it there’s a massive bang, your head is flung back against the (not very cushioned) head rest and your eyes begin to sting with the force of the wind as the ride takes off at 60mph.
Since our wonderful daughter was born my life has been a whirlwind, and for as many new and beautiful layers that have been added to who I am, I couldn’t help but feel sometimes that other layers have been put on a shelf. The ‘Saturday morning lie in’ layer, the ‘wear whatever I want layer’, the ‘don’t have to worry about what time I go to bed’ layer and even the ‘eating food with dairy in’ layer.
So last week I suggested to my mum friends that we should try to find an evening where we could leave the babies with their dads and go down to the pub for just an hour and a half or so for a drink. I felt a real sense of renewal as I put on a dress that would have been unsuitable for breastfeeding and a pair of heels so high that I would have been nervous to wear them carrying a baby. A little over dressed you might think for a couple of hours at a very low key pub, but it felt like a special treat to myself and I really could feel a few more of those shelved layers being put back on.
I sat in that pub with my nails painted, proper make up on and a lovely half pint of dark ale in my hand and I was reminded that although I love my new life of changing nappies, soothing crying, delighting in baby giggles and marvelling at this new creation we have made, I do also love being just me.